Friday, February 24, 2012

News Update: Tree Hill Corpse Roulette



Let’s get real for a second: Someone’s about to be fixing cars with Uncle Keith in heaven.

As the final season of One Tree Hill marches on, we’re slowly getting explanations for the shocking flash-forward sequence seen on the premiere — and on the Feb. 29 episode, we’ll finally figure out whose corpse Haley (Bethany Joy Galeotti) has to identify at the morgue! So who does the mystery body belong to? To figure that out, we’ll have to play my favorite game ever: Tree Hill Corpse Roulette! (Actually, that’s my second favorite game. My first is Dream Phone.)

  • Nathan: Considering he’s currently in the custody of murderous basketball terrorists, Nathan is the obvious suspect. We know James Lafferty only appears in a handful of episodes this season, but that he’s definitely confirmed for the finale, so perhaps we’ll be seeing angel Nathan. And let’s not forget that Barbara Alyn Woods is also returning for an episode. (She might want to bring a little black dress along for the trip!)
  • Dan: Considering he’s going all “hero” and trying to save his son, it’s totally possible Dan (Paul Johansson) will get killed in the process. Just think about it: Wouldn’t it be so poetic — and so One Tree Hill – for Dan to receive the ultimate redemption in death? And of course he’d be buried right next to Keith.
  • Lucas: We know his plane took off… but did it ever land?
  • Clay: He’s been sleep walking this season. Could he also be sleep dying?
  • Mouth: He’s gotten super-fat this season. Mayhaps he’s going to eat himself into an early grave?
  • Skills: I know this is random — especially since we’ve barely seen him this season — but wouldn’t Skills’ (Antwon Tanner) funeral be another good excuse for Deb to return?
  • Jamie: Doubt it. That corpse would be super tiny, and it’s not.
  • Chase or Chris Keller: Doubt it. Haley wouldn’t look so sad.

OK, my speculation is “becoming” nonsensical, so I’ll leave the rest up to you. Who do YOU think is going to bite the big one next week? Celebrate democracy by voting in my poll below:


— Andy Swift

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